Bumper Sticker Faith

Dear Lord,
I think I may be mistaken in my life and sometimes I think that I am doing enough.  I think that faith is like a nice saying on a bumper sticker or a placque on a wall.  
For instance, please forgive me for the times that I quote (Philippians 4:13 For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.) and yet don't live like it.  I am sorry that I need you to make sense to me before I step out.  And then I have the audacity to call that faith. It shows up in many ways Lord I know.

• I am sorry that I have said "Let go and let God".  But truth is, I don't do that and I am not sure I believe it all the time and I am definitely too scared to let completely go.
• I am sorry that I want to "Honk, if you love Jesus!" which is cool, but I don't think honking is what you had in mind.  I think if I truly loved you, then I wouldn't worry about honking, I would do more serving and more talking.  Instead, the serving takes too much time and energy and the talking can really make me and my friends uncomfortable, and I don't want to do that!  So maybe instead if you could give them a "Saul on the road to Damascus" experience.  That would be better.
• I love the WWJD bracelets and bumper stickers but man you can't expect that kind of standard!  I mean, Jesus was so good!  So maybe I can't do it, but I am confident I can do a lot better!  I don't wear the bracelet, but I don't need it to remind me.  I have known for a long time that I should try to think about what Jesus would do and then act accordingly.  
• I know I like to say, "Jesus loves you and so do I" but I am not sure if my love matches your love.  Your scripture teaches that there is no greater love than this, that  a man give his life for another.  But truthfully, I have a hard time giving up a "value meal" a week to give to those in need.
• Yep, I know that you own the cattle on a thousand hills...but c'mon really?  You can't possibly want me to give you 10% of MY income to you...do you?  The truth is that you require so little from me, but I act like mine is a sacrifice of great proportion.  All the while I proclaim with great pride about you giving up your life for us.  Those two don't quite match up do they...?
• Finally, I talk about 1 Cross + 3 Nails =4 given, but I don't forgive others too well.  I hold onto hurts, onto memories and allow them to make me an unforgiving and bitter believer.  I got to believe I need to shape up when it comes to forgiveness.  You told me that you will forgive me the way I forgive others.

God I am not willing to die and face you with bumper sticker faith.  I am afraid that I have learned to rationalize my lack of faith with words like wise and discerning faith.  I got to be honest, I want to be wise and discerning while at the same time I want to be a fool for Christ.  I have learned to accept less from myself, while I expect more and more from you.  I have learned to expect you to make sense to me while I am sure I am inconsistent and confusing to you.  I say things while doing the opposite.  I claim a great faith while living with a puny faith.  My words don't match up with my deeds.  All the while I know this, so I just simply accept it as being a flawed human being and expect you to forgive me.  The problem is that I am not seeking to change my ways and step out into arenas I have never been to before so that I might grow and look more like your Son.
Make me bold and courageous.  No check that: I will be bold and courageous.  You don't make me bold and courageous.  WE CHOOSE TO BE BOLD AND COURAGEOUS because you are so worthy.  I am not going to put this on you...this is all mine.  I need to stop the compromise and give you my best, not my second best.
God I don't want to try to do your will with my bumper sticker faith.  I promise to mean what I say and do what I say.  I am your man.  So use me as you will, even when it doesn't make sense to me.  I will talk to others about you and not care that I am uncomfortable and I might lose a friend over it.  Eternity is much more important than being comfortable.  I will love people and sacrifice for them.  Giving up time and energy and money if that is what is needed for them to experience the love of Christ.  I will give you money each time I get paid.  I will give AT LEAST 10%, plus money to meet needs, to you and not complain.  Even if I don't know how I am going to pay my bills. Finally, I will forgive as I am forgiven by you.  No more bitterness and holding onto hurts.
I am sure there is a lot more God.  Search my heart and see if there is a wicked way in me.  Cleanse me.  I am your man God.  It's the LEAST I can do.    
I love you...really.
I can never do enough.
Rod